She calls it the "blue wall of silence." Every time Katrina Cooke Brownlee known as 911 after her correction officer fiancé beat her, she says the police walked away after seeing his defend. As she shares with "48 Hours" and "CBS Saturday Morning" co-host Michelle Miller, she took issues into her personal palms and joined the NYPD to vary the system from inside.
KATRINA'S STORY
Katrina Brownlee: Once I was in Vice as a undercover, I spent roughly … 18 months strolling the streets of Queens doing prostitution. … The one distinction was that I used to be working undercover and this was their precise life. However we had lots of related tales. … To listen to their tales and never capable of discuss to them about my story and the way I survived — it was heartbreaking lots of the occasions.
Katrina Brownlee: My identify is Katrina Brownlee. And once I was 22 years outdated, I lived with my ex-fiancé in a home of horror.
Katrina Brownlee: I do not keep in mind not having a black eye. … Whether or not it'd been the precise one or the left one. … it was a busted lip (sighs). It was at all times one thing. … that is why shades turned a signature for me.
Katrina Brownlee: I known as the police on him a number of occasions.
Katrina Brownlee: He was a New York Metropolis correction officer.
Katrina Brownlee: And each time … He would flash that badge. And each time he flashed that badge, they'd stroll away.
Katrina Brownlee: That badge was far more vital than my life.
Keri Herzog: She bought to the purpose the place she feared for her security and the security of her youngsters, and that is when she determined no extra.
Keri Herzog: However when the choice was made to go away, the chance issue for Katrina went by way of the roof.
Keri Herzog: My identify is Keri Herzog. In January of 1993, I used to be an assistant district lawyer.
Keri Herzog: I do not assume she in any approach might have foreseen what was going to occur to her when she got here by way of that door
JANUARY 9, 1993 | 11:30 A.M.
Katrina Brownlee: He opened the door and he simply had, like, a bizarre look on his face. It was unusual. … And … he pointed a gun to me and mentioned, "that is the day you die, bitch," and he shot me in my abdomen. After which he shot me once more. And — (cries).
Keri Herzog: He emptied the gun after the primary 5 … reloaded and proceeded to shoot her once more 5 extra occasions.
Keri Herzog: Every time he would say to Katrina, "are you able to die, Katrina?" Bang. "Is that this the day you are going to die, Katrina?" … Bang. " you deserve this, Katrina." Bang.
Keri Herzog: This was a person on a mission. And he was armed and lethal.
Keri Herzog: This might have simply been a murder. However due to Katrina's will to stay and can to outlive, it wasn't.
Katrina Brownlee: God had … a complete completely different plan for me.
Katrina Brownlee: My story begins from a really darkish place, and it turns into a narrative of grace, a narrative of affection and a narrative of hope.
Michelle Miller: Why did you wish to turn out to be a cop?
Katrina Brownlee: I needed to turn out to be a very good cop.
Michelle Miller: There is a distinction?
Katrina Brownlee: Hmm, yeah. … a very good cop has empathy, a very good cop cares about those that they've to guard and need to serve.
Katrina Brownlee: I used to be an amazing cop.
"THIS MAN TORTURED ME"
Assistant DA Keri Herzog will always remember opening the case file.
Keri Herzog: That is the photograph that claims struggling to me.
Keri Herzog: This reveals a path of blood by way of the lounge and main into the adjoining room.
Keri Herzog: It actually took my breath away.
Keri rushed to the intensive care unit at Brookhaven Memorial Hospital on Lengthy Island as quickly as she discovered the sufferer was nonetheless alive.
Keri Herzog: There was a horror present unfolding proper earlier than my eyes. The very first thing that that got here to my head is how did this lady even survive?
Within the afternoon of January 9, 1993, a automotive got here screeching as much as Brookhaven's emergency room entrance. The motive force hurriedly put a girl in a wheelchair and pushed her within the door, then sped off.
That lady was Katrina Cooke Brownlee. Barely aware and riddled with bullets, the 22-year-old mom of two someway managed to inform authorities who did this to her — and the place he lived.
Lead detective Raymond Blasko raced to the home the place a person calmly opened the door and mentioned, "I used to be anticipating you." It was Katrina's ex-fiancé, Alex Irvin.
Raymond Blasko: I proceeded to arrest him at that time … The crime scene indicated a violent, brutal assault and that the sufferer throughout it was shifting round from room to room … making an attempt to get away throughout the assault.
Raymond Blasko: The ground of the lavatory. There's lots of blood on every little thing within the rest room. That reveals in depth bleeding.
Raymond Blasko: Due to the blood loss. … I didn't consider she would survive.
Neither did the younger assistant DA. Keri took a dying declaration from Katrina on the hospital to make use of as proof for a grand jury.
Keri Herzog: Her voice was simply above a whisper … every breath took a specific amount of labor on her half. However she was capable of do what we would have liked to have her do. I did not assume I might ever see her once more.
However Keri did not know simply who she was coping with. Katrina had been beating the chances most of her life.
Katrina was a struggling 18-year-old single mother residing within the Brevoort Tasks in Brooklyn when she met the person she thought would get her the home with a white picket fence she'd at all times dreamed of — a correction officer on New York's infamous Rikers Island. It was Alex Irvin.
Katrina Brownlee: So, once I get into this relationship with this individual, it is a approach out.
Michelle Miller: It is a approach out.
Katrina Brownlee: I used to be in survival mode … And he had a automotive. … wasn't used to driving round in a elaborate automotive. He was a correction officer.
Michelle Miller: He had a job.
Katrina Brownlee: He had a — a profession. A gun. So, to me, it was like, OK, my man bought a gun, he bought a very good job. I am from the initiatives and take a look at me.
Michelle Miller: You thought you'd escaped?
Katrina Brownlee: Appropriate. Proper. That is what I am pondering like, I am successful. When really I used to be dropping.
Katrina says he confirmed his violent mood nearly instantly.
Katrina Brownlee (strolling with Miller outdoors the Brevoort Tasks): That is the place it started right here. Out in these streets. Yeah.
Michelle Miller: He would beat you on the street?
Katrina Brownlee: Oh, yeah.
Katrina knew she ought to finish it however says her grandmother – the one grownup in her life she trusted – satisfied her to remain.
Katrina Brownlee: My grandmother mentioned to me, you realize, this man has a job and … he can present for you, and you've got a daughter and he is keen to take in your daughter and to deal with you and I believe that that is one thing you need to attempt to contemplate. So, when your grandmother tells you that, then you definately assume, nicely, possibly — you realize what? Possibly I ought to do that.
Michelle Miller: That is figuring out that he had bodily assaulted you?
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah.
Michelle Miller: How do you see that now?
Katrina Brownlee: Was the worst recommendation that I might have ever gotten.
They quickly had a child – a lady – Katrina's second daughter. However, Katrina says, it did not cease the beatings.
Michelle Miller: What would spark his anger?
Katrina Brownlee: Possibly it was only a dangerous day at Rikers Island. Possibly I did not wish to have intercourse with him. Possibly the newborn was crying. Possibly I had on one thing he did not wish to see me in.
Michelle Miller: He was that abusive?
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah, it was that abusive.
Katrina says she known as 911 a number of occasions.
Katrina Brownlee: Each time that I known as the police on him, they both would come and … inform us to work it out or … he would have a separate dialog both outdoors or in a room with them and they'd stroll away.
She known as it "the blue wall of silence." The minute they noticed his badge, she says, they left. After some time, Katrina says she stopped calling.
Katrina Brownlee: I had no respect for cops. I had no respect for them in any respect.
In 1992, Alex Irvin moved Katrina and the 2 women from Brooklyn to a small home in Medford, Lengthy Island. However, she says, the abuse continued and solely bought worse. Lastly, after 5 years of getting overwhelmed black and blue, Katrina mentioned sufficient.
Katrina Brownlee: I used to be pregnant, and I mentioned to myself, I am not bringing one other little one into this poisonous, violent relationship with this man and that I'm going to save lots of my cash, get some power from someplace someway and get out of this relationship. And that is what I did.
Katrina and her daughters moved to a neighborhood motel. However after a month, she ran out of cash. Determined, she known as Alex Irvin. Katrina says he was like a distinct individual and even supplied to assist her get again on her toes.
Katrina Brownlee: We talked and had been pleasant with each other, one thing that I had by no means skilled with him. Ever.
Michelle Miller: You had been hopeful.
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah. And I did not assume he was intelligent sufficient to, like, attempt to set me up.
On January 9, Katrina says she walked straight right into a entice. She left her older daughter with a neighbor and went together with her youthful daughter to Irvin's home. That is what she instructed us occurred subsequent. A warning: you might discover it disturbing.
Katrina Brownlee: He opened the door and he simply had, like, a bizarre look on his face. It was unusual … I went to position my youngest daughter in her mattress as a result of she was asleep. And as quickly as I got here out … he shot me in my abdomen. After which he shot me once more.
Katrina Brownlee: I fell again on our sofa, and I appeared down. And my abdomen had flattened. And I wasn't, like, bleeding. … and I mentioned to him, I am like, "Why am I not bleeding?" And I keep in mind him saying, "Shut up." And I keep in mind making an attempt to stand up and crawl. And he shot me in my arm right here [touches her left arm].
Katrina Brownlee (in tears): I keep in mind selecting up the cellphone and … making an attempt to name 911. … The cellphone traces had been minimize.
Michelle Miller: You are in the lounge.
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah, crawling on the ground like a canine … I keep in mind I appeared as much as him and he took his foot and he kicked me in my face. … this man tortured me. "He pointed a gun to me and mentioned, 'That is the day you die, bitch,' and he shot me in my abdomen. After which he shot me once more."
Katrina Brownlee: Oh, my God. He tortured me.
A KNOCK ON THE DOOR
Alex Irvin did not simply need Katrina useless, says Keri Herzog. He needed her to undergo.
Keri Herzog: This was an indignant, indignant man. … You'll be able to nearly hear the defendant saying, It ain't over … 'til I say it is over.
Keri Herzog: He was mocking her as he was firing on her … Is that this the bullet that is going to do it, Katrina?
And he was in no hurry, says Katrina. When she might not crawl, he put her within the mattress and coated her gunshot wounds with Band-Aids. At one level, he carried her to the lavatory, abandoning a blood-stained blueprint of the assault.
Katrina Brownlee: This did not occur, like, inside, like, 20 minutes or 30. This was like an extended time period that he is torturing me and capturing me.
Over the course of an hour-and-a-half, the correction officer emptied his service revolver two occasions on the pregnant mom of two.
Katrina Brownlee: And in the end, he shot me 10 occasions.
Alex Irvin had deliberate for every little thing, says Katrina: the locked doorways and home windows, the minimize cellphone line. The whole lot however a knock on the door.
Keri Herzog: As Katrina lay bleeding on the ground …
Keri Herzog: There was an surprising go to by … a household good friend of Katrina's fiancé.
Keri Herzog: And upon getting into the house, he checked out one thing which may solely be described as one thing out of the "Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath."
In response to the good friend's assertion to police, Alex Irvin instructed him, he had shot Katrina, and that he flipped out.
Irvin then led his younger good friend - solely 20 on the time — to the lavatory. Katrina was mendacity face down on the lavatory flooring.
Panicked, the younger man picked her up and carried her to the automotive. Irvin helped him put Katrina within the again seat. The 2 males headed to the hospital, with the good friend driving.
Keri Herzog: Your entire approach, Katrina was out and in of consciousness and he was begging her to carry on, that they had been near getting assist: "Do not go, Katrina. Do not go."
It was the younger man who put Katrina within the wheelchair that day — her wounds nonetheless coated with Band-Aids.
Michelle Miller: If he hadn't come by that home –
Katrina Brownlee: Oh, I would not be speaking to you. I'd not be speaking to you.
Katrina was rushed into surgical procedure as quickly as she bought to the hospital after the assault. A number of operations adopted within the days forward, however docs had been unable to take away six of the bullets that had entered her physique, says Keri.
Keri Herzog: The location removing might have been extra harmful to her than leaving the bullets in place.
After days of drifting out and in of consciousness, Katrina lastly wakened.
Katrina Brownlee: The very first thing I needed to know: "The place was my child that I used to be having? The place had been my kids?" That was the very first thing I mentioned.
Keri Herzog: There she was having been brutalized and her first concern was for her kids. … It made me wish to cry. It makes me wish to cry proper now.
Katrina was instructed her two daughters had been protected and staying with a relative. Sadly, Katrina says, the newborn she was carrying — a boy — did not make it.
Keri Herzog: A lot of the accidents had been concentrated between her chest and her pelvis … and it turned evident that future kids had been — weren't going to be within the playing cards for Katrina.
That wasn't all, says Keri.
Keri Herzog: She was very restricted in her mobility. There have been considerations that she won't have the ability to stroll once more.
Katrina remembers the day the physician delivered the grim information.
Katrina Brownlee: I mentioned, "What? Once you say that … I am not going to stroll once more and by no means have a standard life, like, what does that imply?" And he mentioned, ", you — you are going to be confined to a wheelchair and you will have those that need to deal with you." After which I mentioned to him, "I haven't got anyone to deal with me. I am homeless. I haven't got a spot to stay." I mentioned I did not have a spot to stay earlier than I got here right here [cries].
Michelle Miller: And also you're pondering, "What am I going to do?" Was it worry, desperation at your wit's finish or all of that wrapped up into one?
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah, I imply … Now I am actually on their lonesome. I actually am all-time low. I am on the lowest place that I believe a human being could possibly be in at that time … Your son is murdered. You'll be able to't deal with your kids. You will have nowhere to stay. You don't have any household. It would not get no worse than that.
Alex Irvin's mom let Katrina transfer into her home in Brooklyn, unoccupied on the time. Katrina had around-the-clock care and every day classes with a speech and bodily therapist, however, deeply depressed, she refused to work at her remedy.
Keri Herzog: Katrina fell right into a gap that was so deep and so vast that she could not see backside. And he or she could not see facet to facet.
Then in the future her bodily therapist gave her hope that she would absolutely get better.
Katrina Brownlee: He mentioned, "I consider one thing tells me that you'll stroll once more" … and I do not know what it was that day gave me the desire, gave me the hope that it could be executed. And … I began from the wheelchair, then I went to the walker after which I went to a cane after which I began to stroll. In order that was a course of.
Katrina devoted her complete being to displaying the docs she might get higher.
Michelle Miller: So, what had been the issues they mentioned you could not do?
Katrina Brownlee: I wasn't going to stroll once more. … I wasn't going to have a standard life once more.
Michelle Miller: So, you went — test.
Katrina Brownlee: Proper. It was like test ...
Michelle Miller: Examine, test.
Katrina Brownlee: Examine, test, test, test, test (laughs).
She additionally checked off one other field: shallowness.
Katrina Brownlee: I began to consider in myself. I began to construct up … who I used to be as an individual.
However the fates weren't executed with Katrina Cooke Brownlee. She was about to be examined but once more.
SURVIVAL MODE
There have been many stops alongside the best way that might have derailed Katrina Cooke Brownlee's journey out of darkness. Katrina says that getting thrown out of Alex Irvin's mom's home in Brooklyn whereas nonetheless recovering was certainly one of them.
Katrina Brownlee: She requested me to put in writing a letter stating that I shot myself 10 occasions in order that her son didn't go to jail.
When Katrina refused, she says the mom booted her to the road.
Katrina Brownlee: I turned much more homeless. I do not know the way a lot homeless you would be, however then I actually turned homeless.
Katrina — who by then had her two women again — ended up in a homeless shelter on the Decrease East Facet of New York.
Katrina Brownlee: Rats had been there, roaches was there. … It was actually, actually dangerous right here. Actually dangerous.
Michelle Miller: What goes by way of your head as you had been your two daughters?
Katrina Brownlee: I am in survival mode. The whole lot for me at this level is survival.
Michelle Miller: Keep alive.
Katrina Brownlee Simply keep alive.
Michelle Miller: Defend my women.
Katrina Brownlee: Defend my women, as a result of I felt like I had already failed. They did not select him. I selected him, you realize?
Katrina says the shelter was so filthy, she would not use the lavatory.
Katrina Brownlee: I keep in mind placing my youngest daughter within the sink in McDonald's … to wash her. And me, as a grown lady, having to clean up in — at a sink (sighs).
Whereas Katrina and her women had been struggling to outlive, Keri Herzog was methodically constructing a powerful case towards Alex Irvin.
Keri Herzog: I used to be going to do every little thing in my energy to deliver justice to Katrina. … I fought for her tooth and nail.
However Katrina, who had been cooperating with the prosecution, began backing away. Keri found that Alex Irvin – towards court docket orders — had been calling and threatening Katrina from jail.
Keri Herzog: I needed to rain down on him with the white-hot depth of a thousand suns. The vanity for him to be having this dialog together with her from contained in the jail was outrageous … he must pay.
However then the protection introduced a letter to the decide purportedly written by Katrina herself.
Keri Herzog (studying the letter): "I, Katrina Cooke, the sufferer on this case, has determined that I do not wish to press expenses because of duress on the time of my accident." … This can be a lady who had been shot 10 occasions and right here she's portraying it as an accident.
Keri Herzog (studying the letter): After which the icing on the cake, "If I'm subpoenaed to court docket, I'll testify on the defendant's behalf."
Keri Herzog: I used to be horrified. However I wasn't essentially stunned. … Katrina had already been positioned within the place of practically seeing her life ended. If she confirmed any cooperation with me or the court docket — it could possibly be worse for her.
Years later, Katrina would inform Keri she didn't write that letter, however, on the time, Keri was satisfied she had. She bought Katrina on the cellphone.
Keri Herzog: She mentioned," I am not coming in. I am not going to speak about it. In actual fact, I will disappear and also you're by no means going to seek out me." … Rage was beginning to construct up inside me. … I let loose this bellow and mentioned, "Katrina, I'll hunt you down like a canine if I've to."
Keri Herzog: After which she hung up on me.
Regardless of issuing a subpoena, Keri did not anticipate Katrina to seem in court docket. However even with out her star witness, Keri believed she would win a conviction.
In April 1994 – one 12 months and three months after the assault – jury choice started. They had been on day 4 when immediately the courtroom door flew open.
Keri Herzog: I flip round and I — I see her. She's in a brightly coloured costume, and her presence that day really made me gasp out loud. I by no means, ever anticipated her to seem. … However there she was.
Katrina Brownlee: I had determined that … I will stroll on this courtroom and no matter's going to occur goes to occur. … I did not even take a look at him … I wasn't giving him that energy 'trigger at that time I had bought again my energy and bought again my management. So, I wasn't even going to take a look at him. He did not even matter to me.
Keri Herzog: I believe that the defendant noticed the whites of her eyes that day and knew that the sport was over … And he or she was going to do no matter she wanted to do to take him down.
Keri Herzog: She was again. … She was again with a vengeance.
Quickly After, Alex Irvin pleaded responsible to all expenses: tried homicide within the second diploma, assault within the first diploma, and prison use of a firearm. There can be no trial. His sentence was now within the palms of the decide.
Keri Herzog: I used to be very indignant that he took the plea.
Katrina Brownlee: She was extra indignant I believe (laughs) than I used to be … She misplaced her thoughts … I used to be calming her down as a result of I instructed her, I mentioned, "I have been by way of this already. Ain't nothing going to occur to him. He bought that defend. Is nothing going to occur to him."
Keri made an impassioned plea to the decide to provide the person who shot and tortured Katrina a minimal of 20 years behitnd bars; however the decide did not heed Keri's pleas. He gave Alex Irvin the lightest sentence doable: 5 to fifteen years.
Keri Herzog: After listening to that it was nearly a blind fury that took over me.
Keri Herzog: I gathered up my belongings and returned to my workplace. And I kicked my rubbish can from one finish of the workplace to the opposite. And I really saved that rubbish can for the remainder of my profession with this enormous dent in its facet.
Keri could not ship the sentence they each needed, however she did ship one thing maybe much more vital.
Katrina Brownlee: No person ever cared sufficient to battle for me.
Katrina Brownlee: She fought for me once I could not battle for myself. … She gave me hope once I did not have hope for myself.
Katrina Brownlee: I am grateful to her.
JOINING NY'S FINEST
Together with her ex-fiancé and would-be killer in jail, Katrina Cooke Brownlee targeted on her future — a future that included a job at a impossible place: the New York Metropolis Police Division.
Michelle Miller: So, the … prison justice system failed you.
Katrina Brownlee: They failed me.
Michelle Miller: And then you definately go and enter —
Katrina Brownlee: The prison justice system. Yeah.
Michelle Miller: That was logical for you.
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah. I used to be like, "Nope, I am doing it."
Keri Herzog: You could possibly have knocked me over with a feather.
Nobody was extra stunned than Katrina's former advocate and now-friend, Keri Herzog.
Keri Herzog: Katrina and I really talked about why she would be part of the police division. And one of many issues she talked about, that, you realize, the easiest way to vary a system is from the within out.
A system that Katrina says repeatedly turned its again on her when she'd name 911 after being overwhelmed within the years earlier than she was shot. Katrina needed to turn out to be what she says she wanted all these years in the past: a very good cop.
Katrina Brownlee: Why not? Why would not I? Why would not I wish to assist defend and serve? Simply because I did not obtain it, it does not imply that I should not wish to assist others.
In July 2001 – eight-and-a-half years after her brutal assault – Katrina was certainly one of 1,600 new recruits sworn in on the NYPD's Police Academy. They'd go on to be generally known as the 9/11 Class, when, simply two months into coaching, Katrina and her fellow police cadets turned first responders on September 11.
Katrina Brownlee: That was like one of many occasions the place I used to be like, possibly I do not assume I can do that.
Katrina Brownlee: I pushed by way of it as a result of … the opposite those that was within the academy additionally, you realize, all of us was feeling the identical. And I believe we simply mainly was going off of one another's power.
As Katrina began a brand new life inside the prison justice system, Alex Irvin, the correction officer-turned-convict, was launched from jail after serving 10 years. Keri remembers Katrina's response.
Keri Herzog: It was nearly a sigh of resignation when the time lastly got here up.
Katrina Brownlee: I used to be at the start of my profession, and I needed to actually simply put the power into that and never into him popping out.
From the beginning, Katrina sought out a tricky project: going undercover in Brooklyn and Queens — even adopting a cigar-smoking persona to catch drug sellers.
Katrina Brownlee: Something that entailed undercover, I did it.
Michelle Miller: Something?
Katrina Brownlee: Something.
Michelle Miller: So, it put you in some harmful conditions?
Katrina Brownlee: Oh, completely.
Keri Herzog: I requested myself, "Why would somebody who's been by way of what Katrina has been by way of put herself into that scenario?" After which I believe, "What can anybody do to scare her at this stage of her life?" … She was proper at loss of life's door and got here by way of.
Katrina Brownlee (strolling down a avenue): Proper now, we're on … a strip that I used to work on once I was in Vice doing undercover work, and this was sort of like dwelling for me many a-days, many a-night.
Although the mission was to arrest pimps and people soliciting prostitution, Katrina felt a connection to the ladies she encountered.
Katrina Brownlee: Being on the market within the streets … I noticed that each certainly one of these younger girls had been — had been me in some type or style. … It allowed me to comprehend how … it was vital for me to … do my work to the most effective of my capability whereas I used to be on the market.
After 5 laborious years working undercover on the streets, Katrina took to the streets once more as a group affairs officer.
Katrina Brownlee: I simply felt that I had a lot that I might give again being a police officer.
Regardless of being the great cop she had at all times needed to be, Katrina anxious that the key of her previous would harm her profession.
Michelle Miller: So, you are in your dream job, you are doing an amazing job, and but you are residing with at all times the worry of being found —
Katrina Brownlee: Appropriate.
Michelle Miller: — your previous —
Katrina Brownlee: My previous.
Michelle Miller: — coming again to hang-out you.
Katrina Brownlee: Yep. Each single day I went to work, I at all times thought that.
Michelle Miller: You by no means shared this secret?
Katrina Brownlee: Nope. … It was painful not to have the ability to.
Painful, as a result of Katrina believes that the trauma she suffered would have made some on the NYPD query if she was match to serve.
Katrina Brownlee: (impassioned): "I do not need her on this job. She's a home violence — she could go off and kill anyone. She won't be mentally secure."
Although nonetheless in worry of being outed, Katrina solid forward, turning into a Detective First-Grade – the NYPD's highest investigative rank.
Katrina Brownlee: It wasn't many ladies that had been first-grade detectives.
Keri Herzog: Nobody handed something to Katrina. What Katrina has executed, she has earned.
Keri Herzog: It is nonetheless wonderful to me now to consider the progress that she made and never — not simply progress, success.
Keri Herzog: She and I've talked about it that success is the most effective revenge.
And Katrina wasn't executed but.
UNBURDENED
Katrina Brownlee: By no means, ever, ever, ever surrender on your self. I do not care who's towards you. Consider in your self.
Katrina Cooke Brownlee had spent a lifetime defying the chances: climbing out of poverty, surviving a close to deadly assault, strolling after believing she would by no means stroll once more. And within the remaining years of her NYPD profession, she would buck the chances as soon as once more.
Michelle Miller: Once you had been growin' up in Brooklyn, had you— did you ever anticipate you'll be working on the mayor's mansion?
Katrina Brownlee: No. By no means. … Not even — even remotely shut.
In 2014, Katrina turned one of many few Black ladies in NYPD historical past assigned to guard a New York Metropolis mayor when she was chosen to serve on Mayor Invoice de Blasio's advance safety element.
Michelle Miller: You are only one step forward?
Katrina Brownlee: I am only one step forward. If — if I am walkin' right into a ditch, he is gonna comply with me into that ditch, proper? If I am walkin' into the sundown, he comin' in that sundown.
In 2021, after 20 years on the pressure, Katrina retired from the NYPD. In her final assembly with the mayor, she lastly opened up about one thing she had been hiding for many years: her previous.
Katrina Brownlee: And I mentioned, "Nicely, Mr. Mayor, I wrote a ebook." … And … he mentioned, "nicely, what's the ebook about?" And I mentioned, "Nicely, Mr. Mayor, I bought shot 10 occasions." … And he took a deep breath, and he was like, "however you by no means mentioned something." And I mentioned, it wasn't — "I wasn't alleged to."
Keri Herzog: She was carrying round a secret. And now she has been unburdened.
Michelle Miller: I believe individuals you'll by no means have an inkling … that you've lived the life you have lived.
Katrina Brownlee: I usually surprise and ask myself that, "Do I appear to be this has occurred to me?" you realize. And … I've scars, proper? … So, for a very long time, the scars used to trouble me, so … I put tattoos on my abdomen in order that, once I appeared within the mirror once I'm getting dressed, I did not see it.
Michelle Miller: if I could also be so daring to ask, what are your tattoos?
Katrina Brownlee: Roses. Only a bunch of roses — yeah, flowers.
Michelle Miller: Wow.
Katrina Brownlee: As a result of that is what I really feel like that is what I turned.
Katrina has additionally discovered a solution to let go of the emotional scars.
Katrina Brownlee: Finally that has occurred to me, proper? I forgive. I forgive.
Michelle Miller: You forgave your assailant.
Katrina Brownlee: Completely.
Michelle Miller: Your abuser.
Katrina Brownlee: Yeah. I needed to. I needed to forgive him so I can get again my management so I can get again my energy and in order that I can have a peace inside myself. There is not any peace while you harbor in anger, while you're mad. There is not any peace in that.
"48 Hours" went again with Katrina to the initiatives the place she had grown up.
MICHELLE MILLER: You keep in mind Katrina?
MAN: When she was younger. Sure, I keep in mind her.
MAN: I keep in mind while you was rising up together with your grandmother. That is Trina (he factors out to a girl). You keep in mind Trina?
She has moved away, however not thus far that she has forgotten all the opposite Katrinas who at the moment are the place she as soon as was.
Michelle Miller: What's subsequent for you?
Katrina Brownlee: Simply to inform my story … And to proceed to work on my group with my women, Younger Women of Our Future.
Katrina's group has been mentoring younger girls for the previous 10 years.
Michelle Miller: You don't need every other woman or lady –
Katrina Brownlee: — to ever, ever, ever need to undergo 5% of what I went by way of.
Katrina Brownlee: Should you construct and also you educate and provides younger individuals these instruments, you save them each single time.
Keri Herzog: She has that serving to gene in her. She is providing assist that surpasses what she had.
Michelle Miller: How does the Katrina sitting right here at present differ from that 22-year-old outdated Katrina?
Katrina Brownlee: Oh, wow. The 22-year-old Katrina was misplaced, damaged … forgotten, violated. … On the lowest level … that an individual could be. And now at present, I really feel like I'm a good looking Black queen that fought the battle.
Katrina has simply completed a ebook about her life that she's calling, "And Then Got here the Blues."
Produced by Liza Finley and Lauren A. White. Diana Modica, Doreen Schechter, Marcus Balsam, Joan Adelman and Michelle Harris are the editors. Morgan Canty is the affiliate producer. Peter Schweitzer and Nancy Kramer are the senior producers. Nancy Kramer is the manager story editor. Judy Tygard is the manager producer.